To walk or not to walk: Sweden’s aisle style war pits fathers against marital traditions

KUALA LUMPUR, Sept 1 — Sweden often leads the way in gender equality, boasting near-equal parental leave, a parliament close to gender balance, and top rankings in the EU’s gender equality index. However, when it comes to marital traditions, it seems to be going down a different path.

According to The Guardian, in the Swedish Lutheran church, it’s customary for the bride and groom to walk down the aisle together, unlike the tradition in Britain and the US where the bride is usually escorted by her father.

Recently however, possibly influenced by global television, films, and social media, an increasing number of Swedish women are now requesting to be “given away” by their fathers.

The debate over what some Swedes call “the Hollywood tradition” has been ongoing, especially since 2010, when Crown Princess Victoria chose to have her father, King Carl Gustaf, partially walk her down the aisle.

The Guardian reported the debate has flared up again after a motion was submitted at the Swedish church’s autumn meeting to ban the practice of fathers handing over their daughters at the altar. The decision to allow a bride to be escorted by her father is currently at the discretion of individual priests.

Sara Waldenfors, a pastor in Nylöse, Gothenburg, who, along with Jesper Eneroth, proposed the ban, stated that the patriarchal symbolism of the tradition is inescapable.

“The relatively new trend that the father walks the bride down the aisle and passes her over to her new husband is not in our church tradition,” she was quoted as saying to the Observer.

“Even though the scene feels nice for future bridal couples, we can’t disregard what it symbolises: a father handing over a minor virgin to her new guardian.”

However, not everyone in the church shares the same view. Henrik Lööv, an executive commissioner in Jönköping parish, argues that it’s more about including the family in the ceremony rather than symbolising a “legal and patriarchal handover.”

“Through this, the bride or groom chooses to mark the importance of a relative in their life — a choice that means a lot to everyone involved.

“Bride handover has become increasingly popular in the last 10 to 15 years. It is probably due to inspiration from Hollywood but also from Crown Princess Victoria’s wedding, where the king walked with her a bit on the way to the altar,” Lööv told The Guardian.

He noted, however, that the practice is not widespread, with only about 10 per cent of couples he marries opting for the bride to walk down the aisle with a parent. The issue has sparked debate, he said, because it intersects with two key Swedish values: gender equality and the freedom to choose.

“Those who are strongly committed to a ban believe that bride handover is a patriarchal custom, while many who are strongly against a ban find it difficult to accept that the church could decide how they marry at their wedding.”

The Guardian also reported that the Church of Sweden was contacted for comment but did not respond. The debate comes at a time when the number of weddings in Sweden is declining. Last year, 44,190 couples tied the knot, down from 56,240 in 2012.